This morning my child is insisting on being called Jabba the Hut. One of the most humbling experiences is seeing your child do something objectively odd and recognizing in it something of your own (or your partner’s) off-ness.


I’ve landed upon it: The foolproof solution for keeping your children from cursing. As with sex, the answer is not abstinence-only education, which only feeds curiosity and overproduction. The answer, as it turns out, is swearing yourself—early and often—around your children. This appears to breed in them the intuition that swearing—every shit, damn, and fucker—is … Continue reading Swearing

Family Portrait

The toddler laid four plastic insects in a row. “Dis Da-ny,” they said, pointing to the grasshopper. “Dis Ee-ya,” indicating that the cricket stood for their baby sibling. “And dis Mama and Bama.” Pointing to the cockroaches. I fear for the teenage years.

Eating sh*t

Last night while I was making dinner the toddler came in to the kitchen, naked but for a bike helmet. “This for eatin’, Mama?” they asked, pulling something small, wet, and brown from their mouth. “No,” I replied. “That is rabbit poop.”


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About Me

I’m Kelsey. I am a queer cis woman, a feminist, a child clinical psychologist, and a parent.

I have one doctorate (in child clinical psychology), two half-feral babies (well, one’s three now), and almost no answers to my own real-life parenting problems.

I’m here to document the humbling disasters and unexpected joys of parenthood–because even a decade of training can’t prepare a person for this business.

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